It's not as easy as it seems
by KissesInTheRain
Summary: It just goes to show, you never really know someone until they share their innermost thoughts... Plus, it doesn't hurt to dare.
1. Pansy

It's not as easy as it seems 

Disclaimer: Not mine never was. You could sue me but all you'd get would be… hang on… fumbles in pocket 3p and a strawberry hubba bubba. And some fluff.

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Can I tell you a secret? Promise you wont tell?

It sounds silly, I know, too frivolous for someone like me. 'All books and cleverness,' that's what someone once said, you know, always spending time in the library, not a daring bone in my body.

It might not seem much to you, able to live your life as you please, do things that no one sees, really **breathe, **but for me, stuck in this place where nothing gets passed anyone, a little bit of freedom means a lot.

I dared. I dared to wear orange socks, and ribbons in my hair, and to be different. I dared to laugh in times like these, and I dared to **dream**.

But most of all, I dared to fall in love. And that's my secret. I am in love with the most wonderful person in the whole entirety of Hogwarts, and sure, he may not have any table manners to speak of, and he's crude, and insensitive, and I'm completely crazy for even thinking it. What would everyone say? But he's funny, and shy, and kind, and I've fallen completely head over heels for him.

Ron Weasley.

It's ludicrous, I know. It would split up friendships, there'd always be someone left out. And in any case, NEWTS are only in four months, and I've only just gotten round to writing out my revision timetable! Not like me at all, I'm afraid I have to admit I'm slacking.

I just haven't got time for boys, stupid, smelly creatures who don't work, and are loud, and dirty, and whose main interests are balls and broom handles.

I can't believe I just said that. See? I'm not myself. It's the influence of those blasted boys. Don't need them.

At least, that's what I told myself. _Tried _to tell myself.

They've put the Gryffindors and Slytherins together in almost all the classes this year. I think they were aiming for a spot of house unity and making new friends and all the rest, but there've been more 7th years in the hospital wing than any other year. I never thought I'd be glad of a disruption in class, but there's always a fight or two, and I find myself watching him more and more, when nobody's watching, and nobody'll talk.

Because in all seriousness, I'm scared. I'm scared of the war, and what'll happen next year when we're all thrust out into the real world, despite the fact that people are **dying,** and I'm scared I'll never see him again after this year, and that I'll never tell him how I feel.

My life isn't as easy as everyone thinks, you know. My parents are both in the same profession, and to be honest it doesn't pay very well – just don't tell anyone that please, I don't want the pity, or the ridicule from certain nameless Slytherins.

My father was very strict when I was growing up, and I think that's partly what's to blame for how I am today.

He always wanted me to be like him, and of course he was thrilled when I got into Hogwarts, but I haven't had the heart to tell him that I don't want to follow in his footsteps.

Then there's my mother… She's always been slightly neurotic. She says she's found me a perfect future husband, and I hope to God that she's joking. She probably means the lad at the end of our road, the one who lives in the big house. His father just happens to own his own company.

And we're back to boys again, which inevitably means Ron.

Draco Malfoy just barged past me, the ignorant sod, with a sneer on his face like he thinks he's better than the rest of us. He can hate me all he wants, but I can't hate him, I have to put on a show like I'm indifferent. It just wouldn't do for me to be unladylike in public. Got a goody goody reputation to uphold.

Ah, but if he's on his way to the great hall, then it must be dinner time, so I guess I'd better be going as well.

You know, when I was younger, I always imagined myself settling down and having cute children and being a housewife and having a husband with a cushy job. Come to think of it, I wouldn't mind that now. I even contemplated going and living like a muggle.

But I couldn't do that now. Not after all I've seen, it's too safe. Too boring. And I'm done with boring.

I can be bold. Daring.

So what if people will talk? I am fed up of being scared, and I'm involved in this war, more so than most, and I'll be damned if someone is going to tell me how to live. And if I'm going to die, I'm going to do it loud and proud.

I'm in love, and I WANT Ron Weasley.

I know he likes me too, I've seen it in his eyes, as we've been arguing over what goes next into the potion, or the wand movements in Transfiguration. McGonagall sometimes puts us together, I think in the hopes that I'll actually teach him something. But I think maybe she's smarter than we give her credit for.

But I'm digressing again, and now I really am going to be late for dinner.

Maybe I'll ask him to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend. Be bold, be daring. Remember that.

I'm fed up of being the one who gets pushed to the background, the 'smart' girl. People will remember my name. Because I **dare**.

I never told you my name did I? You've probably guessed by now.

I'm Pansy. Pansy Parkinson.

And life's not as easy as it seems.

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What did you think? First fic that I've actually put up here… Be nice?

Kinda thinking about doing a sequel or something. Dunno. What do you think?

Oooooh, it's my birthday tomorrow and everything. Reviews as presents?


	2. Ron

Firstly, thanks to **Your Mom Is My Heart** and **angelps7** for reviewing, but I'm gonna dedicate this chapter to **Your Mom Is My Heart** cos it was something she said in an email than inspired me to carry on this story. I'm not as keen on this chapter as the last, but there we go. Enjoy!

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Hi, I'm Ron Weasley. I'm in my last year at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and… Oh this is stupid!

Hermione said that talking to someone might help me sort my head out, but I just feel a bit silly right now to be honest.

No offence to you.

I just… well Hermione always said that I was just an stupid boy. I think the exact words she used once were, 'emotional range of a teaspoon.' That just about sums me up sometimes.

But whatever anyone says, I'm not ignorant. I **know** when I'm missing something, it's not like things go _completely_ over my head. It's just that… well I think it's that I don't get girls.

I know I haven't had the best luck with girls… my first snog wasn't until last year, with Lavender Brown, and we all know how that turned out. And then there was Hermione. I think it was during the summer that we decided it wasn't working – sometimes I felt a bit like I was kissing my sister.

OK, I didn't need that mental picture.

You see, the thing is, Pansy Parkinson has asked me to go to Hogsmeade with her at the weekend, and I was so shocked I said yes without thinking.

And now I have to find a way to let her down gently. Normally I wouldn't bother, but Hermione said that even though she's a slimy Slytherin, I have to be nice, 'cos she's a girl. Or something.

Don't get me wrong; I have nothing against Pansy personally. She's a nice enough girl, from what I've gathered in class. But she's a **Slytherin**. And probably a future Death Eater. What would everyone say?

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It's Saturday now, and I was stressing at Hermione so she said I had to come and talk to you again. I think she just wanted me out of her hair.

I couldn't talk to Pansy, every time I tried to get close she was surrounded by her friends. I don't trust my chances with a bunch of them.

So I have to go down to the entrance hall with Harry and Hermione in a minute, to go and meet her, and I have NO idea what I'm gonna say. How do you talk to someone you have nothing in common with?

Hermione said that I should get her something, so I went down to the kitchens last night and scrounged a box of chocolate from Dobby. Knew the pipsqueak was useful for something other than fawning over Harry. Oh, I don't mind him really, he's just a bit… high pitched.

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So, I went to Hogsmeade with Pansy. It was… interesting, to say the least.

That girl scares me. Seriously. She took me to Puddifoot's, and I have to say that if I never set foot in there it'll be too soon. The room looks a bit like Lavender's, 'cept for it's more fluffy.

Hermione says that I should give Pansy a chance, but to be honest, I think I'm just gonna stay out of her way for the rest of the year. She's so… intimidating. You wouldn't think it, as she isn't tall or fat or anything, but she sure is scary. Bloody hell, I think she must have been having Death Glare lessons with Snape or something. The greasy git.

Although… she is pretty, in a Slytherin sort of way. There aren't many with eyes that are such a dark blue. Gah! What am I thinking? Aren't you supposed to, I don't know, talk some sense into me or something?

Nevermind.

You know what, I'm hungry. That might not be such a shock, but I'm not normally hungry like most people think. Normally I just like eating, but right now, I'm ravenous. It's odd… probably all that thinking that I've been doing. Scary thought that. What if I were to turn into Hermione? Merlin that'd be awful, fancy just wanting to **read.**

Let's think about something nicer. Like Pansy's legs.

Whoa. Where did THAT come from!?

Bloody hell.

You know, I was talking to Harry earlier, and he said that being with a Slytherin isn't so bad. Went off the rails a bit last year, did Harry. I think it's probably 'cos of Dumbledore's death. It took the whole Order to convince him to go back to school, including Hermione, Ginny and me. I? Me. I don't know.

But… well… I was thinking, is it different? I mean, Harry has had his fair share of Slytherins, but they've all been boys. I think it's Blaise Zabini at the moment. Urgh.

But would it be different, dating a girl as opposed to a boy? Well I know it would be _different,_ but would it matter that much?

It's not like there's anyone else in my life at the moment… Wait, what am I thinking? I can't date a Slytherin. What would mum think? Not to mention Fred and George. I'd get so much stick…

But, then again, I know Pansy's risked a lot by asking me out, and if she did that then she obviously likes me.

Doesn't she?

It is rather a scary thought… her best friend's Millicent of course, and she's bigger than both Crabbe and Goyle…

Oh dear.

Maybe I could just… Maybe I could ask her to Hogsmeade next week as well. It'll give me time to pluck up my courage, and then I could perhaps talk to her… I'll go ask Hermione, she'll know what to do.

Hermione says that she thinks it's a wonderful idea. And I suppose if Herm thinks so… she said I shouldn't mention Bulstrode though. I don't think that'll be a problem.

Right. That's it then. I'll go down to dinner now, and ask her to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend. Why not? I'll be daring for once, after all, I am meant to be a daring Gryffindor. And if I can face Death Eaters, surely I can face Pansy.

I hope.

OK, a couple of deep breaths, then I think I'll go find Harry and Hermione, and I'll go down to the great hall and, well, I think I'll just see how it goes up 'til then, and make a decision.

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What do you think of this one? Not as good as the last? Better? Review? I got like… 70 odd hits on the first chapter, and only 2 reviews. If you don't like it, tell me, just do it constructively and we're all good. Ciao!


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